Maybe she is hungry..or maybe she is cold? She should be wearing hat, it’s too hot for the socks….! How many times did you mommies hear tips and advices from strangers on the street how to handle your crying child. Probably millions. Since Matylda was born, I experience this kind of behaviour and even nasty comments, judgements and those “looks” from strangers on the streets of London, Warsaw or now even Manchester.
It just seems that people usurp the right to voice their concerns and opinions over your child’s health just because…they want to save them from evil parents? The amount of times I wanted to scream…”I know exactly what she wants or needs! She is my child!”, but what’s the point? They will call you crazy, inform social services and your child will be taken away from you. And why? Because you try to protect your child from obtrusive members of the public. And usually those judgemental people are childless, so in simple words they have no clue what they are talking about. It’s like vicious circle for the sake of child protection.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with protecting our children but it feels that there is no way that we as mothers can live normal life with our little ones. We are under constant pressure from the public to be perfect mothers. Mother’s who don’t shout at their child, who don’t say no to them and give them everything they want to make sure they are not upset. And no matter how hard you try to fit in this very demanding society, you will fail anyway. Why? Because everyone has simply unrealistic expectations towards you and your child. Like in the plane people expect you to keep you kid quiet and preferably not wiggling at all.
It is NOT OKAY
There is a long way before us to highlight that this is NOT OKAY to interfere in someone elses’ life even if we think this is for their best. Most of the time it is really not! It may cause more trouble than good. It causes a lot of stress and tension for parents, and it may also be frustrating for the child. Plus this kind of behaviour creates a misleading example for the little ones, that it is ok to criticise their parents and therefore not respecting them. So, as a mother who was subject to public bullying, I am asking you, all mothers out there, to respect each other. Respect the way you raise your child, your choices, your attitude.
We are all different, come from various cultural backgrounds and have different life experiences, but there is one thing we have in common…we care about our children! We are doing what we feel is right and safe for our kids. Be proud of what you are doing and praise other mothers around you. At the end of the day we all want to hear, that we are good mums!